Cheek bones?

When I was in the beehives (the church age group class of 12-14 year olds) we went to the mall for makeovers at Royal Norman's or something. I think we got free lip gloss samples, that I horded for months. I would only use them for special occasions (for the life of me, i cannot recall what special occasions I was rocking at 12). Yet my advisor, Sister Echols (she had a home business of spin art with puffy paint on a t-shirt, you know with the wheel and all, where you put the glittery paint on the shirt and then spin it, I tell this just for context) gave me a complement I have not been able to shake, she said, "Jodi you have high cheek bones". I was 12, she was a weird puffy paint spin art Mom, but I still believe I have great cheekbones.

Jared was one of the two boys I wrote on my mission. If I ever missed the boat it is not choosing to be with him. He has given me the compliment of my life, "when you walk in the room, the whole thing lights up, no one else can do that, just you". To me that was beautiful.

I love to talk, and I am really good at it. But, I have been accused of making myself seem better than I am. Accused of telling too many secrets, mine and yours. Accused of being too idealistic in my conversations, views of others and ways of the world. My words have caused the greatest criticism.

I threw a party when I was in high school. I was a senior and it was a street party. I was wearing these short, short overalls. I also was wearing a purple flower cotton shirt underneath. I remember this in great detail, because that night. A punk Jr. or sophomore, who I had never seen before, was doing something he shouldn't and I think I told him to move his car or something, and he said, "whatever, you're fat". I had never been called fat before.... as you can tell I remember.

I know we gather our conceptions of ourselves from many sources. I am so glad that I am more than a fat girl, with great cheekbones, who can't keep her mouth shut, who can light up a room. But I cannot deny that the words, the compliments, the love letters, the tearing down words, and the chastisement of others play a huge role in my self image. I love that moms can instill in their daughters how beautiful and unique they are. My mom, was the best at this. I grew up with 8 girls on our block. That caused a lot of drama. Mom would always say, "they are boring, you are fun, creative, and lively" if I ever came home in tears. Yet, moms can't be there like before.

I applaud all you parents, couples, teachers and others who are out there building the emotional resevoir of your people. We are all in this together. Now maybe kind words and sincere compliments can't make a person (it takes other sources) yet I believe negative, manipulative, hurtful words can break one, especially if that resevoir isn't full. Who knows maybe that girl with the beautiful smile, or generous heart doesn't know it until you tell her. And maybe that's what she needs to know.