Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Fade.

yes, it has happened again. The "Fade".

you start going out with someone, it seems great, but then after a little bit of time, in my case 3 weeks, they start texting less, calling less, and all in all wanting to hang out less. I laugh because i am actually too busy to spend much time thinking and fixating and obsessing about it. And we both knew it wouldn't last since I am leaving in 2 weeks. But I always have to laugh at the fade. I don't think anyone knows how to say, "yeah, I'm done Peace out". I can't decide if it's because we as daters are spineless, or we just aren't too sure if we are done with the person, and the "fade" buys us some time and maybe even the option to reconsider later. For whatever reason, if I ever do get married, I am going to miss the stealthy, we-both-know-whats-going-on-but-aren't-going-to-acknowledge-that-we-know-it "fade out".

Don't ask me about the boy, it was very casual, he is 27 and loves motorcycles, and it was as always a great ego boost to get some attention from the younger man (not much has changed in all these years).

But all you readers out there, humor me and post in the comments either 1. your most hilarious/painful fade out (where you got dumped) or 2. the agony/awkwardness/relief of being the fader (dumping someone). I am just curious about everyone's experiences or memories with the "FADE".

Thursday, April 22, 2010

on top of the world.

Lately I have been feeling cute and stylie. I have about 10 pairs of boots, some from Thrift, some from Last Chance and I also bought 3 pairs at the Macy's boot/shoe sale a few weeks ago. I rock leggings now, wear jewelry, put makeup on everyday, try to keep my grays covered and basically just look smoking hot everyday. But as I was about to completely indulge myself in vanity....I came across this beautiful picture again, and was quickly brought back to reality. YIKES.


I was living in downtown Mesa, in the historic district. My room was the basement. It was rad. I had a wood burning stove, that didn't actually work, but i decorated it with candles and plants. I had my home made hippie beads strung up in the doorway. I had a couch and my bed and a closet full of thrift store goodenss, it was the raddest room i had ever had, in the most perfect house. I would walk to the library, walk to Milanno's Music, ride my bike to Pete's Fish and Chips in other words, I was happy.

And then after 4 months of bliss it happened.

The normal roomates moved out, and the girl with all the unicorn/fantasy decorations moved in. There they were in the common area. A unicorn statute, multiple unicorn mirrors, a unicorn music box, some sort of magician poster, and many other decorations along these lines.

I was mortified, my perfect existence had turned into fantasy land. This women was in her mid-thirties. Here she was invading the common areas with all this maddness.

I immediately decided I would move out of this hell hole.

I like to think back on all the places I have lived, on all the people I have shared common areas with. As of late I have decided to be a lone wolf, and to live alone. I think I have earned it. I have learned what I needed to learn by sharing apartments, houses, etc. with the single Mormon Women of the West. I am done with the sharing.

I found a one-bedroom in Boise's Northend. So glad I won't be calling the institute, getting names of available housing, and going through the whole room mate thing again. I am a grownup. And I can't chance an infusion of unicorns...I just can't.