Paul O. (my old best friend, and partner in thrift store treasure hunting, napstering, Anasazi dreaming and he is my 3rd cousin) sent me this article.

Some Young Women May Be Confusing "Confidence" With Carnality [Party Girls]

via Jezebel by Dodai on 3/17/08

It's Spring Break in America, and you know what that means... Millions of college students are getting wasted. And, more often than not, this is the time that young women go from concentrating on history or communications to studying Sex Appeal 101. LA Times columnist Megham Daum went to Cancun a few years ago, to research an article; she writes: "The raunchy contests and general debauchery were something that these women had prepared for, almost as though for a final exam. They'd logged hours at the gym, in tanning booths and at body wax salons. They'd save up money for breast implants and then timed the surgery so they'd be healed by spring break." The interesting thing is that the women claimed to be doing it for their self-esteem.

"One word I heard again and again, oddly, was 'confidence,'" writes Daum."'If I can be considered hot here, I'll be hot anywhere,' a rather morose woman sitting on a bar stool in a bikini and high heels told me. 'I'm here to get confident.'"

As they psyched themselves up for wet T-shirt contests or debated whether a given guy was worth flirting with, a lot of women told me that they saw spring break as the proving ground for their attractiveness.

Here's where things get tricky. Is a woman who participates in the drunken hook-ups, wet T-shirt contests, body shots and other Spring Break events just celebrating being young, free and proud of her body? Or is she tragically falling victim to the age-old standard, that of a woman's worth being directly tied to her appearance?

Confidence has become an easy catchall-excuse for everything from dyeing hair blonde to nose jobs and breast implants. We're living in a world with so much pop psychology and issues related to self esteem that it's almost as if, as long as you feel better, whatever you're doing to get there is okay! But what of confidence gained through intelligence, talent, skill or bravery? Isn't there intense pride in working with what you've got (small nose, obesity gene, flat chest, mousy brown hair)?

And, seeing as how most of these women are working with liquid courage, aka alcohol: What's the difference between being "confident" on Spring Break and being plain-old drunk and promiscuous?

Jodi Responds...

I love the last line of the above article. "What's the difference between being "confident" on Spring Break and being plain-old drunk and promiscuous?" It seems to me that lately there is no right and wrong. There is simply hot and not hot. Thats it. If dudes desire you(not in a wholesome way either), than good job, you have a life, you have self-esteem, etc. If dudes don't desire you, that you my friend are out of luck. I have seen my little co-workers share pictures they took of their girlfriends naked on their cell phones, I have heard the way they talk about woman who come into the restaurant and what they would love to do with them, I have been to Rocky Point, and have heard the 'wet t-shirt contest' going on, as we walked down the beach, I have watch MTV and VH1 reality dating shows, I have watched woman compare themselves to others, I have compared myself to others, and blamed my place in the hierarchy of dating success on my looks only, I have listened to boyfriends (more than one) tell me "if only you would work out jo, and be hotter, than I would be more into you"... you know, it's sick, all of it.

That being said, Yes, I want to be tight in all the right places. It sure is competitive out there. You girls who have been out of the game, have no idea the sort of competition I face. Also, I am trying to return to my racing greatness. But I think Paul, who knows me pretty well, thinks that maybe I should not still be caring about this stuff. He listened to it enough back when. And I think he is right. I promise to work on other areas, (spiritual, service, cooking, cleaning, dancing, saving monies, writing my books, and becoming the best law girl ever). Thanks Pauly.