My first love, (the one I count as the first of the three, the three big, heartache inducing, crazy pain loves, the men I thought I would marry for sure, but didn't) was the reason I stopped using the phrase soul mates. Up to that point in time, I used those words frequently. Hmmm, when I was younger I dreamed of that one, "meant to be with me person". I listened to all the cliches with hope and belief, "when you meet the right one, you know it", or "It will just feel different when you meet the right one". Now after I thought both those love cliches and many others were what was happening to me (back in 2001) after finding the most original, inspiring, one of a kind man, the one I thought heaven made for me.... and it didn't work out, I was done using the term soul mates, done.
Yesterday I was at an awesome wedding reception. My friend Erica and her husband had eloped a few months before, and were now just doing a low-key, tropical themed affair. It was awesome. I saw many friends I hadn't seen forever. The real surprise was meeting my friend Gina's "Soon to be Husband". They had met online (both over 30) and as I asked for the details...all those cliche's I mentioned above were spewing out of them. For example, "it's just so easy, no drama" and "IT's a miracle, it just feels meant to be".
About 30 minutes before they arrived, I was introduced to 3 guests of the wedding who were from out of town. My friend Jen quickly whispered...."that one of the girls dated Gina's fiance, for over 2 years and doesn't understand, what Gina has, that she doesn't have "(The Question, you will never, ever, not in a million years get an honest answer to). Jen continued, "She is a little bitter that in 3 months he could commit to Gina, and after 2 years he couldn't commit to her".
Love Bites. I often wonder if it is random, and we are all just at it's mercy with no rhyme or reason. All people just out there doing the best we can, trying to find someone we like who likes us back. Or is there is some grand, soul mate-type of design, which necessitates a person will find only their match, no matter what...cause destiny wills it. I don't know. However, I do know when there is someone you want, and they don't feel the same, neither scenario makes you feel better.
W,hich "love design" do you believe in soulmates or free choice? And has your belief ever changed, like mine did because of 2001.
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3 comments:
I believe we are at it's Mercy. Wait, I believe that it was a miracle that I found Brad and there is no way I could have without divine intervention. I'm confused. I don't know what I believe. All I know is that one man I thought I loved told me he had to have an older educated gal. He inspired me to go get my master's degree. Then he dumped me for a 19 yr old hair stylist. But guess what, I'm not bitter. For real. I don't think we know the ingredients that will make us want to say "I do". But when we find them and still can't put our finger on what this person has that I need/want so bad, we just say "I do" and keep trying to figure it out.
I do bot believe that everyone has a soul mate. for me, by personal experience I know that there was/is more than one person out there that would sweep me off my size 10's.
I made a pro's and con's list...yes...yes I did with Bret. I had two wonderful choices and when I prayed to "the powers that be" my answer I got was go with him and be happy, or go with him and be happy...what the?!! so not how I thought it was going to be!
I truly believe that there is that one person out there for you at that one particular time in your life. Your choices define that point in time and draw that one person to you. That soul mate that you thought was yours back then, perhaps wouldn't even draw those feelings from you now...different life experiences and so on affecting it. You can choose to be at "its" mercy or embrace where you're at now in life, find that soul mate for that time and if you are presented with another life path and choose to take it, look ahead and forward for another soul mate that will be compatible with where your soul is then.
belch...so I don't make sense...or do I? you tell me... :D
I agree with Erica. There are different soul mates for different times in your life, depending on where you're at with your own soul. For example, for me, Tanner wasn't my soul mate in 2001 when we met or in 2002, 2003, 2004 or 2005 when we were friends. But I guess in 2006 my soul was ready to be his soul mate. And his was ready to be mine. Why it didn't happen five years earlier, who knows? Don't try too hard to figure stuff out. Just go with whatever you're feelin' at the moment. Do I sound super cheezy?
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