Our MTC boyfriends....

All of a sudden all of these women in their late twenties are going on missions. Maybe they see what is lacking in the single scene and just don't want to deal with it for 18 months. Maybe they are just thinking, it's not too late, "Maybe i didn't miss the mission boat". In the last week, two woman who I never in a million years would suspect a desire for full-time service from, have decided to go. So good for them right? I definitely think the mission could be better with a more mature outlook, or maybe not. I don't know if you returnees are like me, reliving my mission life, especially my MTC time, is just not something I do on a regular basis. Tonight was different...

In the MTC, i met an amazing cast of people. My district, my branch, my comp...yeah,yeah yeah. Also I already had a few connections. My brother was already there. One of my best friends of all time, Nathan Coffee entered the same day that I did (which was sooooo awesome). My best fhe brother, who was as cute as a button, was there. My cousin Gary, who was a cowboy was there. All these little local Rexburg boys from summer school were there. All my brother's friends were there. Yet the most unexpected meetings were with my MTC boyfriends, Clearly defined as the men i met in the MTC, who under other circumstances i would have been attracted to, but because I locked my heart I could only be friends with them, and maybe we would hint at becoming an eternal family later on (come on I was 21).

Kasper is one of my favorite people. Well known as Hermana Kasper back in 1999. We spoke on the phone today and relived the best 8 weeks of our lives, the MTC. Kasper's MTC boyfriend was hot. Vance. She says, "we would not hold hands, but we would give extra long high fives... (essential physical contact, when physical contact was not allowed). She also says, he might swat or pat my hair, only for a second...just playfully when no one was looking (intense).

My MTC boyfriends were not so clued into the subtle physical contact of MTC relationships, and honestly, I don't think I was ready for that level of commitment (that the extra long high five entailed). We spoke more in terms of planning for the future, when we would be seeing each other after the mission. Yet we too had our ways of developing relationships of trust... our secret meeting spots. 'Meet me in "Country Home"(the name I lovingly gave to the middle cafeteria)by the popcicle cooler before the fireside", or "what time are you guys going to do a session, let's walk there together" (oh we were sneaky and intense). My favorite was th exchanging of the address. These men were going to write me every week, seeing me through the 18 months, then when they returned 6 months after me, we would reunite...we promised.

I gotta admit, I loved the wholesomeness of flirting in the mtc. I loved the fact that if you didn't have someone special to write you before you left, (or you were just greedy and wanted more letters/attention/spiritual motivation) the MTC was a last shot chance, to make that happen. Plus the guy girl ratio was awesome...go figure. Another bonus was at 185 pounds (I went in at a hefty 165 and gained 20 from country home's goodnes) I was still making spiritual connections and intense eye contact, you know I loved it. MTC boyfriends (you probably have 4 kids now and have no idea who i am) I will always miss seeing you at choir, maybe sitting next to you in the cafeteria, lingering by the scripture section in the bookstore together and the moments we cherished in the call center.

Heru....

My dog is named Heru. It means "the great white ninja". It is from a Chris Farley movie.

Today I heard about a family in the MEsa School district. The kid's names are King Tut(boy), Playboybunny (girl) and Pimp (boy)

My best friend and cousin, just named her daughter Annie. I think that is the best name, and if I ever get out of dodge I might just give myself that as my new name. Well it would be sort of be a part of the name i have now, "Jodiane".

I refuse to give my (future) daughters slutty cheer leader names. To all those, Tiffany, Chastitiy, Charity, Monica, Hillary, Brittney, or Monique's...sorry I just can't do it. My girls are getting all motions, (sparkle, twinkle, lazer, and jazzy... just kidding)

My cabbage patch doll was named Roni. I hated that name. I sort of think it is the worst name for a cabbage patch ever. My mom made me a fake, softer, cabbage patch. I named her Cuddles. NO JOKE.

My first dog was named Bell. My dad named her. Yet, when she had puppies, I chose the all black one, and named him Torpedo. Out of all the pet's I have ever had. I wonder and miss Torpedo the most.

My car has two distinct names. Ellie, or Elliot... my car is an Element. In college my car was named Grey Hawk. It was a stick shift Cadilac. I never made out in that car... I always really wanted to.

Single and Ready to Mingle...Three th0ughts from today.

1. Remember when people used to say that for reals? I don't really remember the exact place where i heard that little lymric, yet i think it has to do with 80's movies. Linger Longeer or Mingles is what happens after the three hour block. There is some random dish that is rarely that good, and you get to sit there and have awkard conversation with men that are 21... which would be good in some circumstances... but it just isn't at mingles. I guess it is sort of like Ward Prayer up at Ricks, just one more opportunity to make it happen, before the FHE that is 24 hours later. Hmmmm,

2. Did I tell you all my visiting teacher asked, "so they are still going to let you stay in the ward, even though you are 30".... what kind of question is that (ok maybe legit, but no one asks it, well I probably would have if I had to visit an oldie when I was 12).

3. Today I went back to Brimhall on my prep. to meet with another teacher. I got caught in the hallway during passing periods. All my students had such different reactions. Some wanted hugs, others ignored me and looked the other way. The high-five was resurected. Most wondered, how Iceland was, or if I was loving life in Canada. I got sick of correcting them so I was like. "Iceland changed my Life" or "I am going back to Alberta to marry my fiance", they loved it.... everyone wants a 7th grade teacher that got out of dodge and is making life happen. Maybe I ought to live up to the facade. Anyways, sweet Elide said, "miss goodman, i need to add you to my myspace, will you let me"... oh i love Jr. High.

Off the Wagon.... but not off the wagon trail?

Van turned 16. Texas Road house. Sunday Luke and Dad endulge in the last of the leftovers. Jodi stands alone in rawsome land. Only veggie shake, and raw trail mix for the day's sustenance. Not strong enough to resist baby cow (aka hamburger). Date tomorrow with kid from Seattle. He wants wings. I said, OK. Regretting my weak moment. At least now i can eat a Banzi Burger... and get off the depression train.

ARRRR. Rawesome Update.

Remembering thick, fatty gravy...makes it just 1 percent easier (not really)


I am riding the Depression Train... I can't have comfort food, and it is killing me. Maybe i am a baby, and I have to just buck up and think about all the benefits this will bring. But I can't stop thinking about RED ROBIN BANZI BURGER and Bottomless fries. Man alive, comfort food I miss you already and it has only been 50 hours. All I can do is go out to the Tangerine tree... but I have eaten 18 tangerines today. I don't know if that is good. ABout 2 hours ago I decided I wanted a salad, but we all know a good salad needs dressing. So as top-chef as my guide (sort of) I became a chef genius. I put honey, fresh squeezed lime juice, red ongion, olive oil and poppy seeds in the blender and whoop, zoop, sloop... I got myself some dressing. All I have to say about that is, tanginess not at it's finest hour. I miss you ranch and honeymustard, and blue cheese. Our time away will be hard on me, but I will grow stronger, and I will never forget you.

LIFE.....being born again.

Being Born AGain...I always really loved that idea. A new start, a clean slate, somehow becoming reborn. It seems impossible doesn't it? All the baggage I keep carrying around seems to make demolition and than reconstruction impossible, yet, all the more appealing. As U2 says it so well, "all that you can't leave behind". However, there are people who do change, who do start again, who make something out of nothing.

Hmmm, last night i was out with an ex of mine. And he is all in the reinventing, rebuilding, finding himself mode (I guess that is what a divorce will do to you). To him it is about becoming all those things he gave up for her, all the things he used to talk about with me. He wants to live in an air-stream trailer (he just bought it). He wants to live his life according to his own voice. There is something amazing about reinventing... because we can, because it is not too late. I guess I have always been drawn to those who are not content. There is something beautiful in the searching, the craving, the wanting more, the bucking the system or just living differently. I guess it is because contentment has forever eluded me. Perhaps I believe it is only with a new start that I might find it.

Yet, then the internal struggle rages. We are grown ups, we need to be stable, responsible, just go with the flow. We should count our blessings, and just accept that things are this way. Yet, I believe we are of the mindset that mixing it up, living life like an experiment, having theories and testing them, makes it all the more interesting. I love the idea, "Anything can happen",even a new slate, a pure heart, something beautiful out of a mess, or a chance to be born again.

Maybe, I will find contentment through change. Maybe evolving is the only way to truly be happy. Maybe.... we were meant to become more.



RAWSOME UPDATE: I am still going strong, It has been about 40 hours and I am 100 percent. This mornings shake had spinach, prunes, 1 cup of flax seed, sun dried tomatoes and cool water. In other words, it was powerful.

RAWSOME QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I think a rawsome diet makes the mind think clearer, and the vitals and bowels more active"-Jodi Goodman

"If I were Beowolf... I would just chill with Angelina Jolie and make our own supreme race of Golden Dragons"

YOUR OUT TURKEY..... YOUR IN GRASS



Thanksgiving. A day when i truly am grateful for Pilgrims and Indians, and the gospel, and great food, and family. What a good day. It came it went so quickly. And now I look foreward. I took pictures of the Turkey carcass as I begin my new adventure of Rawsomeness. Thats right folks, no matter how many sweet young men i meet on lds linkup want to take me to Native New Yorker for cheap wings on Tuesdays, I gotta look at my pictures of Turkey carcass, and say, "can we go to your house and watch a movie instead?" I mean, I take my rawsomeness seriously (granted this is probably the 38th serious attempt) but I am super serious this time. Plus I got my brother Luke, in on the deal. So, let the biggest looser, turkey bones and the fact that like a testimony... the belief needs to be strengthened by actions. I have believed in Raw food only for quite some time, I just can't pull off the practicing the diet, day by day bit. I just wanted a little accountability (hence the blogging manifesto).

PS... be grateful for your significant other, Holidays are especially rough for the single gal, so i gotta make up weird diets to make life interesting (but we all do what we gotta do to make our "dream body" dreams come true when those Mormon dreams seem to be extra slow).

PPS If you think my diet is bunk... than remember what the wise Ben Harper says, "What is of the earth is of the greatest worth". I think he was talking about wheat grass, and spinach or something. This is my new motto, "What is of the earth is of the greatest worth, you can steal it from me, cause really I stole it from Ben."

Memo: To all girls in the single scene who write a blog about their hometeacher, that expresses feelings that once might have been, but now not really

Don't do it, you might have a great visit with him and his companion, and come clean about your blog (just because I always come clean about everything), and then see that person at church about an hour later, and sort of feel awkward because you called him sort of sexy "in a mountain man sort of way" and you said his name was stupid (but just to be sort of funny, you didn't mean it) and now you wonder, "Can our fantastic hometeacher/hometeachee relationship continue unscathed"?

Then you remember back when Ken C. was "persistently persuing" Amy and she wasn't really into it, but I wrote a funny blog on mugrunners about the senario (because Amy and I had never kissed the same guy and if it was Ken, than that would be a first)and then Ken C. googles his name and finds it on the site (yeah, yeah i know you can't use first and last names but what a lame-o to google your own name) and then demands that Amy has it removed, then Amy calls me and says the "shit has hit the fan all because of me" and hangs up... and I know I haven't messed anything up for anyone in awhile so I don't know what that means, and then at some point Ken C. says I am bordering on defemamation, and just lack plain common sense. So blogging and men never work out.... wait jodi and men never work out.... but Jodi and Blogging, now that is a match.

I've been tagged....What?

I guess I have been, tagged and I don't know what that means. I think it means you make up questions and then answer them yourself. Alright.

1. What is your favorite word? Rawsome

2. What kind of man are you trying to avoid? One who tells me what he thinks I want to hear (thanks Mitch for the insight).

3. Biggest Regret? I know I am supposed to say I have no regrets... Too many things to mention. However, leaving my mission because of the parasites is probably number one.

4. What is your mormon dream? Learn to have more faith, and be able to show more Christian love and service.

5. What I am giving up for lent? I am giving up all cooked food for 6 months after Thanksgiving (Sumo just bet me 100 bucks I can't make it a week).

6. Best song to play at a wedding.... Bryan Adams "When you love someone", when the intro hits, I am ready to look for love.

7. Do you like animals? I hate all cats, except "Panther", the black and white colored cat that all my little cousins call Panther.

8. Love or Lust? Yeah.

9. Favorite sibling? Van or Rita, or Jimmy or Willy or Luke...Sumo or Tamera, I love em all. They are fantastic.

Ethics....

Today i googled "teacher ethics". There was a lot to be said. I wanted to make sure I was truly being ethical in the classroom. I think with eighth graders, just not killing them sort of makes you an ethical being. The site said, if you become a better human being, you will become a better teacher. Also, that negativity will make a much bigger impression on the youth, that would it on adults. I learned that I should not be presenting or discussing social issues that are radical. Anyways, I just think that is interesting, because for their reports they had to choose a social issue. The principal wanted nothing to be "radical". I obviously set some parameters to stay in the boundaries, yet left a lot open for them to choose from. It is pretty awesome to see 30 computers all displaying different social issues, and kids to be learning something new about their world. Today one of my students stumbled across some footage of cows and chickens being raised and then slaughtered. We got into a short, private discussion where he said, "it is wrong that there is so much other food for people to eat, yet we can't stop eating meat, and these animals are dying just so we can enjoy a hamburger". Hmmm, couldn't have said it better myself. I guess that is what everyone says after the cow/chicken slaughter movie. Yet, I hope that their minds will hold onto the feeling of discovering something new. Maybe there minds will change a bit, maybe... I can still be an idealist about teaching like I used to be. Maybe.

Memo: to all those who let the love of your life (who didn't love you back) talk in great detail, about their new love with you

Don't do it, it is cruel and unusual punishment. You are thinking "hey they will see how wise i am with my great advice and listening ear....and love me again". They are thinking, "if i talk to this person about my new love enough they will get the hint and move on... plus I get to have my ego stroked and some great advice from a person who cares about me (sweet)". Don't even talk to the ex. BLAR, especially about their new loves BLAR BLAR. Let's bring self respect and dignity back!!! We can do it.

The Graveyard...cause everyone got a dream that died.

Oh Thursday Night... the usual staples are in full effect. A drive home from work, a stop at Oasis East (my dad's new insurance company) and a little mental prep. for the institute. And when I arrive (not to class mind you, but to the social part after) the prep. has been well worth it.

I park the Element in it's usual location. I let the techno song play out it's finale. I put on some lip moisturizer (one's thirty year old lips, need to look sufficiently moisturized, at this the most important social event of the week). I take a second look at my bright yellow rose earings, (I will later decide to put them in my pocket but at this moment they are a go).

I walk slowly and confidently towards the chapel, I have nothing to fear, this is my commune, these are my people. The thick aroma of canned corn overwhelms my nostrils, canned corn and something else.....wait, YES! Funeral potato's . Class is not out yet so the line is short. I quickly load my plate with 3 different varieties of Funeral Potato's, deliberately passing by the ham and corn.

Finding my way to the stage, it takes two tries to hoist my booty up. Finally I make it. Now I am comfortable, and am in prime position for all that "needs to happen". I am in full view of 3 of the 4 entrances. I can definitely see what is going on at the other side of the room. Others can see me. However, I am in a power position, where snap judgements can be made. These skills make me more efficient, and at the tute, time management is a plus. Also, if I was into anyone, I could definitely stalk them, (but i'm not).

Why am I so good at this you might ask. Is my knowledge and prowless at the tute, only a facade? Nay my friends, the secret is two fold. Part 1 is Habit. Steven Covey talks about developing it and sharpening the saw. Well my post-institute socializing saw is way sharp. Part 2... Survival of the Fittest. It is a law in nature. If I wasn't soooo good at what I do at institute, I could not have lasted sooo long.

Wait...maybe i am too effective, too comfortable, and too set in my ways. Maybe next time I will mix it up, I am going to hang out by the water and punch bowls. My life just keeps getting more exciting...I'll let you know how the punch bowl strategy fares.

His name is Kurt.... (The last 4 days)

1. I know his name, yet it doesn't matter. The mystery is gone and I am not into him anymore, i think it was just the hometeacherly glow that i was loving.

2. We are doing research reports and i told the kids i would write one too (stupid Miss Goodman) and my thesis statement is "Humans do not need to drink cows milk, in fact cows milk can contribute to health problems in humans. I don't want to write that, googling it and reading is one thing, but siting sources and making a logical point is something quite more strenuous(GRRRRR). Why do I promise things that sound good and then regret them?

3. The First Annual Rita and Harry Goodman reunion (aka we all live within 1 mile of each other, lets get together and eat) went well, lot's of pictures, babies and food.

4. I stayed for all 3 hours of church...ever since AK started the weight loss challenge, we don't go eat at her dad's sub shop (closed on Sunday but we got the key).

5. Jen had a pazzooki party on Sunday night. The east Valley's finest were all there. I had awkward conversation with strange people. I felt myself beginning to compare myself to the other women there. I noticed my jeans were not as tight as there's (no judgement, just what i noticed). I sat on the love sack with Joe, we had pleasant conversation. He spoke of a woman he loved, who over conversation, revealed the qualities she is looking for in a mate, he said, to her, "i encompass those attributes on your list"... hmmm, didn't i have this conversation is HS, and have been having it with the discarded since those days... Yes, yes I have. The unchosen, need answers, or at least a listening ear of some girl, they used to go to singles ward with 5 years ago, who has no interest in them or their lame story.... (yes, i am that girl).

6. Downloaded a song I heard on my XM radio by a group called The Knife...I think that song is everything I am about (80's punk). The live version is on my myspace (but you can't check it unless your my friend, because my profile is private, because I am a teacher, and I can't have the kids knowing that I am a real person). But the song is called Heartbeats. LOVE IT!

7. Watched way too many reruns of Project Runway...It premiers on Wednesday.

8. Had some pretty cool moments with my brothers, especially Van. My mom was making Homeade root beer for the reunion. She probably put 5x as much yeast as she needed. So when she made us try it, Oscar winning performances ensued. I have never used or heard the word, "yeasty" used so many times (that's a blessing in itself). Anyways, during this time, Van (he is 15 )decided to go into the pantry and get out some A&W, just to make the point that mom's root beer was not good. Also in a prayer later at the reunion I saw his eyes were open, I flashed him a gang sign, and the kid lit up. Very cool.

9. In Laws (especially my special lover to be, where ere you are) beware, when the extended Goodman Family sings...OH DOGGIES. Sumo and Tamara (my inlaws) had yet to experience the flat notes, the tone defness, the fact that some will start loud and end up soft or the other way around, or just the overall horror of when the Goodmans all sing in harmony(i do not use the word literally).

10. My favorite people are coming. Remember when meeting your spouse on the mission was something people frowned upon(i don't know, i guess as a general rule it still holds). Yet, there are those special cases when two amazing people meet that way(let's be honest meeting your love is a miracle no matter where it happens)and it is fantastic. Well, my two favorite missionaries I served with have been married for over 7 years, they live in Prescott and will be here to do a temple session on Saturday. Just hearing Hermanna Kellen's voice today, made me sooo happy. I love that a boy from Panama and a girl from Juno Alaska can meet in El Salvador, CA... and 9 years later have an awesome family of five.

Murmuring a confession. I am so Lemuel.

So i have been sort of in a selfish funk for quite some time. I seem to only be clued into what other's gots and what i don't gots. Hmmmm, maybe the funk has been a lifelong roller coaster of total contentment and whiny "why me/why not me's". So i decided to regain some focus with my life, and what a better way to start then with a little beginning of the BOM. Sure enough the first chapters always make you wonder, could i leave my gold and precious things (aka my element, makeup, bed, laptop and clothes) and head out to the wilderness(any day, thanks to my Anasazi training, I can live off the land). But the other thing that caught my attention in my recent readings was Laman and Lemuel's murmuring. For most of my prior readings, I felt distant and apart from them, yet now....it feels like we are of the same mentality. I forgot that murmuring is not only unbecoming and unattractive, it also keeps one far from the spirit. I guess it has been awhile since I have remembered we need to endure each season with dignity, maturity and faith. Thank goodness, we have the Word, to keep us in check.

What's in a name?

I have been in love with two Reed/Reid's. Have made out with 3 Matt's, Somehow can't make it happen with men named Steve (4 have come and gone) and there have only been one Reggie, one Reuban, and one Cardon. Now, names do they really matter?

I had been sort of eying my home teacher. Nothing serious mind you. I just think he is interesting. His little heart was smashed about the same time mine was. He laughs at my jokes and is rather attractive, in a mountain man sort of way. So I asked if he was social, he said, "not so much, but is ready to try", and I said, "is it ok if I invite you to Halloween festivities". He said, "maybe". So i called him once to invite him (he didn't go). I called him again after he mistakenly texted me, "cute girl, must get it from her mother" (do you think he is into a single mom, or a mom is fixing him up, i am not sure)....to raz him about the mis texting. And I called him to see why he wasn't at church(lame, i already know). Now, when I call he wants to talk, I try to get off the phone and he won't let me, he is a great conversationalist and thinks the same of me (unless he is just magnifying his calling, maybe).

So my best friend AK knows all this, and I was asking, "what does this mean?" She said, "it means, he thinks your cool, but he doesn't want to be your boyfriend".... Then she said, "whats his name anyway, all you call him is hometeacher?" I said, "ummm, Curt, or, maybe Kirk? She was like "you have been calling this person, and having long conversations, and you don't know his name", I was like... Curt or Kirk are names you can say like, "Kurtk and no one knows the difference. And I think Kirk/Curt are the stupidest names ever anyways....wait, my first H.S date/love who I was too scared to kiss was named Curt. Nah, still stupid.

Yep. My Day (not my best blog. Sorry)

1. Today one of my students said, "Miss Goodman how ols you"? I shot her a question right back, "How old do you think I am?" She said, "27" I said, "OK i'm 30, why?" She didn't miss a beat when she said, "cause you like a 5 year old in a 30 year old body!"

2. Remember that song from the late 90's, that said, "What if God were one of us, just a slob like one of us" and the lady on the music video had curly hair and a nose ring. Yeah, I knew you remembered. Well today as I was typing up a packet for our research project, one of my students began singing that in a Chinese Women's voice. Hmmm, very strange.

3. In our classroom when you act up, you can either go to "Take a Break" or "Serenity Now". Lot's of the kids like to sit there, not when they are in trouble, but because it is just in the back (far a way from my watchful eye). Today, one of my favorite little trouble makers said, "Miss Goodman, can I sit in Serenity Now?" I said, "NO, but you can sit up here in the front and ring my bell if the class acts up". He was so psyced about his job. And was well behaved all day. He didn't ring the bell, until the class was all crazy. Then he rang it with such authority at the perfect time..... it made a teacher proud.

Exposed....

Today started out as an ordinary day. I got to school, made some copies, finished my veggie shake (that hardcore) and checked my social sites, all is well. Then in the afternoon, after all students had left, I began to check my sites again. DARN IT! I was denied access to my own blog site, and my second favorite site, LDS LInkup (a mormon myspace)was not accessible either. I always check my friends' blogs via my site, and then i mosey on over to see if figter4U my Pakistan Love has left me a message. Usually I can check my business during lunch, before or after school, and maybe if the kids are working... i would do a little site checking. Yet today it didn't work out that way. First I tried to access my blog... Denied. Then i quickly jumped to the LDS LInkup... Denied. I checked again, Denied otra vez. Anyways, I think it is a conspiracy that is keeping me from my loves,(sort of how a woman with a black tooth, once kept me from my love, long story). Anyways, I think I felt some foreshadowing (yep, I teach jr. high English, and use words like that for reals) of this day happening. For about a week, I felt like the computer was tracking my every move, to see where I was spending my time. Then, my computer "broke" at school. So I was using one of the student computers to do my online socializing. I think it was "their" way of removing the tracker, so "they" could use the information to destroy my at school social activities. However, I am not derailed by this. In fact, it was probably a good thing because I was getting addicted to figter4U and his sexy broken English.

Soulmates???????????????

My first love, (the one I count as the first of the three, the three big, heartache inducing, crazy pain loves, the men I thought I would marry for sure, but didn't) was the reason I stopped using the phrase soul mates. Up to that point in time, I used those words frequently. Hmmm, when I was younger I dreamed of that one, "meant to be with me person". I listened to all the cliches with hope and belief, "when you meet the right one, you know it", or "It will just feel different when you meet the right one". Now after I thought both those love cliches and many others were what was happening to me (back in 2001) after finding the most original, inspiring, one of a kind man, the one I thought heaven made for me.... and it didn't work out, I was done using the term soul mates, done.

Yesterday I was at an awesome wedding reception. My friend Erica and her husband had eloped a few months before, and were now just doing a low-key, tropical themed affair. It was awesome. I saw many friends I hadn't seen forever. The real surprise was meeting my friend Gina's "Soon to be Husband". They had met online (both over 30) and as I asked for the details...all those cliche's I mentioned above were spewing out of them. For example, "it's just so easy, no drama" and "IT's a miracle, it just feels meant to be".

About 30 minutes before they arrived, I was introduced to 3 guests of the wedding who were from out of town. My friend Jen quickly whispered...."that one of the girls dated Gina's fiance, for over 2 years and doesn't understand, what Gina has, that she doesn't have "(The Question, you will never, ever, not in a million years get an honest answer to). Jen continued, "She is a little bitter that in 3 months he could commit to Gina, and after 2 years he couldn't commit to her".

Love Bites. I often wonder if it is random, and we are all just at it's mercy with no rhyme or reason. All people just out there doing the best we can, trying to find someone we like who likes us back. Or is there is some grand, soul mate-type of design, which necessitates a person will find only their match, no matter what...cause destiny wills it. I don't know. However, I do know when there is someone you want, and they don't feel the same, neither scenario makes you feel better.

W,hich "love design" do you believe in soulmates or free choice? And has your belief ever changed, like mine did because of 2001.

Hardcore II

Today I did it, i ran my first Triathalon in Casa Grande. It was sort of funny because I have just started to learn to swim. It was not pretty. The best part was running into all my old pals. It is awesome to see so many randomites putting their bodies to the test. The Race was a 400m swim, a 10 mile bike and a 3 mile run. I did not check to see how I did yet, I sort of don't want to know. I have sooooo much improving to do, and that to me is very, very exciting. Anyways, I challenge everyone to get out there and move it. It is just fun to feel a sense of accomplishment, and the community spirit. OK The HIGHLIGHTS



1. I definately was a bit body conscious of just rocking my one piece for about the first 4 minutes, then you realize, hey my body ain't the best, but there were a lot more nasty things out there, I'm alright.

2. Transitioning is fun, when you are a novice...and just sort of McGyver your outfit. After the swim, i scooted to the transition area. My plan was to put a sports bra over my swimsuit, and then put some shorts and shoes on...I must say I transition faster than others, I definitely will be purchasing better attire for the next race, and will practice my transitions.

3. The bike was awesome. It was a friend, of a friends. It always amazes me that people out there are so cool, nice and giving. The world is definitely full of great people, i road strong and fast.... for me.

4. After you get off your bike, and you start running your legs feel like cement. It is a sensation I have never experienced before. It was only a 3 mile run, but because it was my first tri, my body wasn't used to the variety of actions, it had to preform. I was good for the run, until about the last half mile. I had swallowed soooo much water in the pool, and it began to cause a cramp in my rib area (very strange). Anyways, my friend Brendan was there to help encourage me, also I raced another friend in. Very Cool. I finished. I feel Born Again.

Hard Coreness....the legend of the veggie shake.

Hard Core is what Amy, Mitch and I say we are when we are on something i like to call, "should be on diets, but love food too much to be on a diet for reals". This usually happens in the summer time....when our little chubbers spill over the sides of our last chance swim suits. We will sit at the pool.... drinking bevrages and decide where we want to go for lunch and then later dinner. Usually the restaraunt we choose, would not ever lead one to believe that we were necessarily hard core. I used to use the word "hardcore" to describe myself to my ex boyfriend. I would say, "Baby, I am so hard core... ", as I was eating some chicken wings and philly cheese steak with yummy ranch and french fries and honey mustard, and onion rings....oh it is all so damn good. Needless to say, my hard core ness isn't exactly a way of life, maybe just a state of mind, or something i think sounds good to say.

When I was in El Salvador, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She did all the things the doctors told her to do, and completed all their treatments. However, my dad wasn't satisfied with that. He researched and found a lot of information about the power of wheat grass and the veggie shake. A whole new way of eating, took hold. My family, at least my parents had gone green. Out in the garden, my Dad would grow grasses, all sorts of leafy goodnessess and even a weird hybrid of a melon and squash came into fruitation. Through Mom's new healthy lifestyle, and faith, she luckily achieved a full recovery. Yet, Dad was convinced the battle was not over, now prevention was the key.

After getting home, I was in awe of my parents new way of living (My Dad had been a farmer,so I grew up on whole milk straight from the cow and the remains of my pet pigs) i adopted their way of eating. How could I not, I had come home sickly skinny from parasite infections, and needed some nutrients to help get me healthy again. I adopted the "green" way of life, not with out it's quirks. Many a wheat grass shot has been vomited along the banks of the canal where I run. Many a man has questioned why one would drink veggies from a blender, when they could just make a salad. Many a student has asked, "what is wrong with you miss goodman, why do you drink the baby poop looking drink?" I just answer, I am THAT hardcore".

The great battle between good and evil is fought on many fronts, and I feel like it is fought in my stomache. This morning, I drank a carrot, spinach, aloe vera leaf, flax seed, apple, celery drink. For lunch i had raw cashews, 2 oranges and 5 mini candy bars (I told the kids they could eat candy today, only if they gave me treats, IT WORKED)...Then for dinner, I rocked greesy crab puffs from Kwans and 3 mini bags of M&M's and 2 mini TWIX.... I don't know why every day I start out on the righteous side of hardcoreness and then am seduced by the rich worldly treasures of the dark (chocolate) side? Who will win the battle? All I am sure of is it wages on in all of us......

Very Funny....

Teachers do a wrap up activity after every class. I have sort of been slacking so we just did one in honors. We did a quiz, where i just asked them random questions. Here is the quiz and the random stuff that is sometimes said.

1. How do you turn the noun hot dog into a plural noun (not hot doggies)?
2. What was my gpa in highschool?
3. Name 5 synonyms for pretty.
4. How far is a marathon?
5. What is a simple predicate?
6. "There are farm animals on the back poster, name the six kinds of animals, but don't turn around". I kept saying don't turn around, don't turn around, when a kid did, I blurted out, "YOUR EXCOM...". One of the Mormon kids, yelled out, "Ahh Miss Goodman you were gonna say, your excommunicated". We laughed. I totally was. I guess that idea that if you break the rules there are consequences came out loud and clear... The weird thing is that I dont' ever talk like that, I don't use the word excommunication in conversation, ever. Shoot.