Moscow...

Here i am in Idaho. Again. You know, sometimes things sound cooler in theory than in real life. I am lonely. I think everyone in AZ (and the rest of the world) who stays put has something going. I mean they get it. Starting over is super hard. Now the advice that i have been given (to deal with the getting used to a new place) is to count my many blessings. Now you might think that i am over this boo hoo it sucks to move somewhere new (without a spouse-I believe with a significant other in place all things in life become easier, especially moving somewhere new). 

First things i want to tell you. I think I cheated at getting used to Alaska. And I know everyone was proud of me not coming home. You see I met my crush 3 hours after arriving there. It was a huge help and was almost not enough to keep me in place. If anyone knows me, they know that a crush is about the only thing that will get me over the somewhere new thing (think Steve Bigelow at Ricks, i cried everyday until we met after 10 days in Rexburg, that crush kept me tear free for months). I have been here in Idaho for 7 days, one whole week and i have 0 percent crushes. 

Next thing you need to know about Moscow. Today at church they had the best ice cream sundays ever. I was trying to fast so that I could learn to feel peace at being here, but the sundays looked too good. The best part was all the toppings were in glass food storage jars. Yes. There were more mens than women at the Singles Ward. And that is always good. But every Idaho cliche was in full force. In fact seeing 3 of the first year law students getting swarmed by 18 year old girls was classic. Was I a bit jealous the ward boys didn't swarm around me? Just a little. 

I play a lot of Facebook Poker now. In fact, I am on Facebook all the time, wanting to chat with my AZ and Alaska friends. Hence my loneliness/new place syndrome has lead me back online. I miss the one on ones i used to have with my pals. Someday soon, I will love this place. I will have crushes, or be too busy studying to care. I just wonder, 'couldn't I have squared a job as a teacher again?' 'Could I have gone the long haul as a seasonal employee, driving busses, giving tours, being a server in resorts?' and 'what the hell am I doing if my mormon dream is to be a mom, aren't i postponing any chances of that?' I guess sometimes we just get tired of the Big Mecca(about 24 singles wards) and head for the little mecca (3 singles wards that are about 100 people each). I guess sometimes we just do what sounds like a good idea at the time. I guess sometimes Moscow Idaho sounds good, although right now, the night before school starts, I do have my doubts.