Low Self Esteem at the Great Clips...

So I am now Coupon Girl, i think it all started when my mom was a bargain shopper and would by clearanced clearance items. Then I got a bit of my own money and realized that I was definitely following in my moms footsteps...I loved the bargain too. I actually chose my law school based on price. And here in Moscow it has culminated, as I use a coupon for almost everything. So when the seasonal student coupon book comes out, i am one happy girl. Besides restaurants, there are a few other deals, on oil changes, tans and hair cuts.

So here I am showing up at the Great Clips, coupon in hand. Right now my hair is basically the simplest style to cut. I have bangs, all one length, and the rest of it is one length blunt cut. Thats why I don't feel bad getting a 7 dollar haircut...it's not that hard. Plus i am gonna tip a good 5 dollars, and it takes them 10 min. so i feel like it is a win/win for all involved.

That is until I say, "I want about an inch off the bottom, however, if it needs a little bit more so be it" and she says, "yeah, an inch will help a little, but there is damage and breakage all through your hair...You are gonna need to start repairing your hair to take care of all this damage" Who says that????

You see, at Great Clips, the cutters make 8 dollars an hour i think, but they get a commission off the products they sell you. So what better way to make me want to buy "Biolage Hair Strengthening Syrum" then by telling me how damaged and dry and broken my hair is. Honestly is a 7 dollar haircut worth that kind of abuse. I am not so sure. Right now my hair is the healthiest it has been in years....and I don't care what cut of the proceeds hair cutter gets, Please don't tell me how crappy my hair is...Blar.

Good Choices/Bad Choices.....lead to good result or bad result.

It was Thanksgiving break. I was flying home to AZ like I always do, whenever there is a break. On the first leg of the flight i sat by an interesting 15 year old, who i instantly liked. We talked about religion, misscariages (his mom had miscarried his sister when she was 6 months along) and saving sex for later (not marriage for him, he didn't want to get married, but just later) and not endulging in drugs or alcohol.

On the second leg of the flight from Portland to Phoenix, I sat my a man in his late 40's, who after a bit of pleasantries, I found out is a decision maker guru. In other words he goes around and teaches people (mostly high paid executives for corporations) how to make decisions, he basically gives one tools on how to make decisions.

We used the ever elusive decision of what type of law I want to practice, as the "example/proto-type" decision. He gave me many tools to use...which i am not going to talk about here. What I am going to talk about is the choice and the result connection. You see, my whole life I feel like I have been hitting a big brick wall. You see I was taught by my parents, by my church, basically by everything I ever believed in, if you make a good choice, you will get a good result (let's be honest I am talking about making my mormon dreams come true). However, he spoke of a concept that I had never had articulated either by someone else, or in my own mind. He said, "sometiems a good choice doesn't lead to a good result, and sometimes a bad choice will lead to a good result...but if you play the law of averages, the more good choices you make, the more good results you will reap, and the more bad choices you make, the more bad results you will reap.

Ok, so why am i talking about good and bad choices...well besides the obvious, that I am still trying to draw people to my life who will help me get to where I want to go. Recently, i applied to a Spring Break Exchange to South Korea. I jumped through all the hoops, wrote a little essay, sent in copies of my passport, had a professor write a letter of recomendation, etc. I was really excited for this program. I mean who doesn't want to go somewhere rad, for 10 days over spring break, for free. However, I just found out I didn't get accepted (i guess I am not the only one who wants to go somewhere rad, for 10 days, for free, over spring break). However, if I believe my traveleing companion...if i keep making good choices (applying for scholarship programs i think is a good choice), eventually I will get a good result, it's just the law of averages. So I guess, I am glad I made the choice to try to go on a little adventure, I guess i shouldn't count it as a total wash, becuase hopefully the next time I make a good choice...it will reap a good result. Oh yeah, and now I will probably go home for Spring Break, and thats gonna be good.

Rawsome Take 2

I was raw 100 percent for 15 whole days...which was amazing for me, the girl who couldn't even go 3 days after 1000 attempts. So here is attempt 1001, only this time i know what it takes to accomplish it. Alright I said it, lets see me do it again + more days.

Up all night.

So I should have planned better. But i woke up with serious cramps, which lead to sleeping in and missing 1 class, which lead to not being super productive, which lead to getting only a bit done, and then i met my Uncle Steve who is a ref. scout/reviewer for the NCAA at Applebees, and then we went to the game U of I Women's game, which lead to getting a late start on homework, which lead to staying up all night mostly working on an assignment that is due in 1 hour, which lead to finishing up at three thirty, which lead to watching 4 episodes of Gossip Girl, all of this while facing a full day of school/work ahead of me.

So I am ready for a big day. yay.

Double Gangers.

We are supposed to put up someone famous we look like for our facebook picture. Someone said it was double ganger week. Well here is my classy look alike. Miss Molly Shannon. You gotta admit, we could be sisters.

Rainy, Overcast, and Messy.

So it snowed last night and today. It has been amazing weather. And now it's not. To make matters worse my house is very, very messy. So I am going to clean it. When I come back i will post pictures of my space, very clean. Very organized. So hopefully that will be in a few hours. Yay!

90 Days.

I was chatting with Maren, my good Law friend on Facebook, she told me she was going to find love in 90 days, because of the book, "Love in 90 DAys"...so within 3 minutes I had bought it. It came a week later. It talks about 13 destructive dating patterns. I will share a few examples of the patterns.


The Flame Out-
This is one of the most common and deadliest of the Dating Patterns. You meet a guy, there's lots of sparks, and he says all the right things! You think to yourself, "He's different, he's the ONE." You are highter than a 747. You jump into the [makeout] and have mind-blowing, maybe even unprotected [making out]. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, or at least that's how you are reading what he says. Some of the texts and [facebook messages] he sends you are amaing . You talk for hours and he understands you in away that no one else does. You spend one glorious week/weekend together and then kaput. Finito, Nada. You sit there alone, making excuses for why his text, e-mail never comes.

I'll Make You Love Me
You're turned on by the challenge of changing and winning over a guy who has "potential." When you meet a guy you like, you immediately work overtime to get him: hoppping right into [making out], making exotic dinners, buying him things. You're not youreself when you are with him. You are too busy trying to be the inage of what you think he wanbts in a woman. You are his love slave, chef, massage therapist, and savior. All you want, consciously at least, is for him to stay and never leave you. What you get is a phone that never rings. Inronically, your overgiving may even propel him into the arms of another woman. When you finally get the news thorught the grapeving, you're completely baffled at how he could not have been into you.


Not Perfect-I'll Pass
Your best friend talks you into signing up for online dating. You interact with a number of men and quickly back out of seeing them because of various defects that each one has: this guy is too cynial that one has bad teeth, the other anxiously spilled his veggie green shake on his thrift store pants. The reality is you dont' even give them a chance to emerge and be who they are. No one is good enough.


Hmmm...of the 13 Destructive dating patterns, these are the three that resonated the most with me, and how i look at men. Now I haven't found love in 90 days, infact i skipped to this chapter, chapter two. And haven't read anything else. So i am not sure how to overcome these destructive dating patterns.


This post was just to let everyone I am not giving up, I am reading self-help and have renewed LDS Planet. Oh yeah, and I think Grandpa Goodman is still praying for me as i continue to journey on this ever so leanghty seach for love.

Gibson. My only nephew. I love him so much.

I don't have kids as most of you know. So I am not sure how much I will love my own kids. But I don't think I could love them anymore then I love ny neice Olivia and nephew Gibson. When Gibson smiles the whole room lights up. When Gibson laughs, I swear it's the sweetest sound. He is teething right now about 8 teeth at once, so he is hurting a bit and that little cry just breaks my heart. I love this little guy so much and am so greatful to his parents for being so amazing. Even though I wanted his name to be Jimmy James, Gibson fits his sweet personality and cute little face perfectly. My favorite thing he does right now is the roll over a ton of times to get where he is going. He is so strong he rolled over at 1 week. I truly miss being here to see him grow up, but thanks to ichat, I can still be apart of it.

Thrift Store Finds.

I used to have the best clothes. I promise, they were amazing. I spent years perfecting my collection. I had sweaters from the 1950's. I sported long skirts that i swore Native American Woman had embroidered themselves. My collection included about 10 vintage cowboy button ups, awesome 1960's flowing, hippie like dresses and about 100 other pieces of awesomeness. Over the years the collection grew slowly, but i wasn't afraid to throw a few things out.

Then I was moving to Reno, and my dad said i couldn't store anything at his home anymore, and my love interest at the time HATED my wardrobe. So I gave it all away, all of it. Only "normal" clothes for me. The reason i bring this up again, is that I miss those clothes. I think about them often with fondness. I hope they have all found, new good homes...with Stylie women who appreciate the awesomeness of every piece.

However, today I returned to a vintage thrift store. Well it had about 6 rows of vintage thrift clothes. As I was sorting through the inventory....memories of my stylie finds came back to me. Nothing I found in the vintage section could hold a candle to all I once I possessed. I am not sure if the clothes were just a weak selection, or if my taste has evolved over the last few years...but nothing was looking that great to me (at all).

However all was not lost. I ventured to the regular section of clothes. And found 3 pairs of jeans that were awesome (aka long enough for my long legs). I also bought 2 pairs of jeans at Last Chance this morning. That means 5 pairs of jeans for 36 dollars (not for 1 pair, but for all 5). And they all look great, and they are all long, and I gotta confess I have been wearing the same pair of jeans about 3x a week, and i recently discovered some wearing out in the crotch of those jeans, so it was time to make some new purchases.

Poncho Loves.

My mom is basically my fashion Icon. She is classy, simple, natural and does it all with bargains she scores at Ross. Beyond how she is now...she once was even more stylie. She used to wear POnchos. I tried to rock the pOncho in 9th grade. I distinctly remember a cold November night when i decided it was appropriate to wear one of my mothers "college" ponchos around the neighborhood. The boys were playing basketball at the Hunt's (a house 2 doors down). I vividly remember Scott Arnett (my crush from7th-9th grade) mocking my poncho. I remember the other girls rolling their eyes at my poncho. I thought the boys would appreciate my poncho, I thought they would find me earthy and natural...2 qualities I had admired in my mother.

Here I am, almost 20 years later. I brought up the ponchos to my mom, she said she knew exactly where they were. I went down stairs and found them. I put the ponchos on. I admired myself in the mirror. I noted how Earthy I looked. I noted how Natural I felt and looked in the poncho. The black poncho made me feel a like a hippie with class. The white and gray made me feel like a mountain goat shepheard.

"I am definitely rocking these ponchos in Moscow" i thought to myself. A few hours later i was attending the annual post Christmas gift exchange with the married girls of Lehi 4th Ward. We were chatting, and I decided to bounce the idea of poncho wearing off the girls. I wish I could say the consensus was mixed. However, every girl gave a thumbs down on the ponchos. One girl even said Tie Dye is better then poncho wearing. One girl (with intensity) said, "you don't want to be known as the girl who wears ponchos". All the girls thought that poncho wearing would impede my ultimate goal of getting married, and my intermediate goals of dressing cuter and dating attractive younger men. It was quite revealing how many of them were anti poncho. However, now that you have seen the pictures of me, rocking the ponchos...what do you think. Is there anytime, place, event that these ponchos might be the perfect attire??