1 Goal.

When i decided to go to law school the biggest concern for me was the cost. Already with a bit of debt (floating a mortgage with no renters, moving to Reno, my love of last chance, etc.). So when most of the schools i got into cost about 30K per year for tuition and the cost of living would be about 15K... I got a little nervous.

I narrowed my choices down to two. And I had fasted to know if I should go to Temple in Philly or University of Oregon in Eugene. I never felt right about either, which had left me feeling unsure about the whole process.

Then in late May I got a very generous scholarship offer, from the already affordable University of Idaho. And it was almost a no brainer. I called my parents (who I consult with on most big decisions) and they were all for it. These are my parents after all, the most frugal, bargain shopping (especially my mom) people I know. So if they raised me to shop for bargains in every other area of my life, why would law school be any different.

I accepted the offer to come to U of I, in a small, liberal, northern town, 1 mile from the Washington border, 1 and a half hours south of Spokane and in the middle of something called the Palouse. I had one goal...keep my scholarship. The problem is that to keep it I had to be in the top third of my 104 people class. With attrition at this point my class is 100 people. Which meant i had to be top 33 when the gpa's of both semesters were combined.

Sounds easier than it is. My classmates are smart, and for all their partying, they work super hard. My class is smarter than past classes have been here (thats what I have heard from some teachers) and I didn't really succeed at undergrad...getting into school with a 2.59. Also grading seems arbitrary, so even though students know the law, sometimes they don't put it down on exams the way the teacher wants it, and come up with a lower than expected/deserved grade. But for all the excuses of why I wouldn't be in the top third, there was hope. I am sort of scrappy and can work really hard, and can be super obsessive, which leads to great work product, so i knew I had at least a fighting chance to be successful.

I have said the word "scholarship" more times, to many more people then i should have. Yet i know we talk about what we think about. Keeping my scholarship has been my one and only goal since i accepted their offer to attend school here. I hate that I think about my scholarship and keeping it to the point that it has caused more anxiety in my life then any other thing has. *those who know me, had to listen to me talk about it in almost every conversation, the last month at least. Thanks and I am sorry for that. And so i am making a commitment to never say the "S" word again after this post of course.

I am happy to say, even after getting my first C this semester, not to be confused with the C+ i got last semester, and watching my gpa plummet after the grades came in this time...I will be keeping my scholarship. Thanks Goodnesss. It feels so good to have completed my one goal. But i have learned that it is not always the best for the mental sanity to have only one goal. Best to be balanced. And i am enjoying a little more balance this summer, and look forward to being more balanced both my 2nd and 3rd years of law school.