A small request....

Today after a long day of driving and a short stack of tip money (so what else is new, it's the economy right?) I called first my mom to check in with my biggest supporter, next called Jimmy. My brother who is always my very logical, clear headed and disciplined supporter. Spoke with Rita my little sister, mostly about baby Olivia and my driving route. I called all these family members not necessarily to vent about the short stack, but to somehow feel more like myself. It slowly worked.

Next I called Dan, my best friend here in AK yet, he was out with friends. So I decided to call an old pal Jamie. Her husband picked up, she was in the room, but tired, and we ended up chatting for a good hour. I like chatting with Brad. When I hang up I always feel a bit lifted, a bit better about myself. Brad and I talked about Blogs, and about married friends, and about our plans to make monies. Brad said, he wanted me to blog about what is going on here, about the adventures. And what makes me, The Born Again Barbie, Fantastic. Hmm.

This weekend was interesting. I ended up spending a bit of time with other drivers and employees down in Copper. A friend of mine and I were sitting next to each other during a poker game. At one point, he said, "man, it always begins so promising and ends up so bad"....I laughed and said, "just like my relationships". He said, "you just gotta love yourself first". I turned and said, "getting all Dr. Phill on me". He smiled and said, "just saying".

You know I have sort of got sucked into this bus driving thing, letting the bad aspects effect me, more then I should. When I joke about the tips being small, it's not that they are that bad, I just seem to be comparing myself to the other drivers. I question, "what am I doing wrong? why are so many getting off the coach without giving me a dime, when others rarely get stiffed?" And then because I am just a bit lonely and still out of my comfort zone... the money has become my only validation". How sick is that, letting my guests who don't even know me, who I will never interact with again, define how I feel about myself (even if just for a small time). And worse yet, have me question and over analyze my self. I guess it just comes back to the old Laurel lesson, 'Stop Comparing Yourself to Others'.

Basically comparing myself to the other drivers, to all of skinnier, younger, richer, luckier, ____er woman out there, to all my friends who have made there 'Families Can Be Forever' dreams come true, has caused me nothing but heartache, bitterness and self doubt. Now that is not what I am about. And I definitely do not want to stay here in Blar Land. So this is the "why Jodi is so great list" or in other words why I Love being Jodi.

1. I laugh too loud in movies but it is endearing.
2. If I loved you once, I will love you forever.
3. I got curly hair that is wild and unruly.
4. I have a great style, well I used to before my princess uniform. I will have great style again.
5. I still believe I will change this world for the good.
6. I can teach an amazing lesson on Adverbs and hyperbole.
7. I have attended single's ward for 10 years, Rick's college and have lived in Mesa Az and am still going strong.
8. No bus accidents in over 4+ years of combined CDL driving.
9. I have more endurance than anyone I know...just lack the discipline (working on it).
10. My eyes are pretty, my fingers are long, my smile is like a the joker, my nose is like my dad's, my eyebrows are too little, my toes are like long fingers and yet.... It all looks great together.
11. I am honest to a fault.
12. I am learning more about politics, and have strong opinions and love talking about the changes needed in our government.
13. I joined ASU kayak club, simply so that the 2000 dollars I spent on kayak equipment/clothing would not go to waste... now I enjoy it.
14. I see the good in people, and would never hurt, manipulate or use anyone (at least not purposely)
15. I can make friends with anyone, and my close friends are the coolest people in town (like attracts like).
16. I am the funniest person I know, and I love, love, love when other people get it. But if they don't it's ok, because I know it's true.
17. I am a really good kisser, and I love, love, love when they get that, but if they don't, it's ok, because I know it's true ( i have had lot's of different teachers...30 and never married will do that to you).
18. I can teach a dang powerful Sunday School lesson.
19. No one, gives a testimony with as much originality or heart, like I can.
20. I am going to be the best aunt in the world, well at least to Olivia i will be.

So that is it. That is the 'Why I love being Jodi' list. I feel better already. Sometimes, I just want me the universe and all of you to know, I honestly don't just feel sorry for myself. I really do love being me, and wouldn't trade places with anyone.